Okay. V.day over and many things happened over the weekend. My blessings for those blissful couples and to us single lads, hopefully we find our other half too. One of the major shocking things that happened very unexpectedly is the you-know-what. Been thinking about this matter and keeping mum about it, now i think its time for me to organize my thoughts and put it to words.
Disclaimer: The below-mentioned things are PURELY me and my thoughts and may or may not represent what others feels. Pardon me but I feel that its time to say something. My greatest apologies to those who are offended by my words.
To: Whom it may concern & u
Some things just don't occur just overnight or over a single thing. Hopefully, u did realise or feel something amiss A LONG TIME AGO and if u didn't, disappointment is all I can think of now. I know its futile digging up history now but I sincerely hope u do see what turned the friendship sour.
Firstly, I guessed u already know by now that we are pretty upset over WL's present. Let me make this clear that it is not the monetary issue that created the unhappiness and its the fact that u planned and decided ON YOUR OWN and left us no room for discussion and "requested" that we do not buy any present. u asked me if I know that I do not need get any presents and I was like HUH, since when did we plan what to get for WL. u then told us to pay XX for a two year present. I SERIOUSLY DONT MIND PAY XX AMT FOR THE PRESENT but FOR A TWO YEAR PRESENT, DONT U THINK ITS ABIT WTF? U EVEN PLANNED FOR THE FOLLOWING YEAR. ASK YOURSELF IF U EVER CARED FOR ANYONE'S PRESENT THIS YEAR FOR THOSE THAT HAVE PASSED UP TO TODAY. Seriously, pardon me but life doesn't really revolves only around U AND WHAT U WANT. Or do u want us to message u and say," Hey, pass us XX amt for the next 2 years for whoever's present since ur bf is not around." I hope u understand that WL IS OUR FRIEND and not just UR BF.
Secondly, the next thing that I can think of now is the birthday party issue between u, favian and johny. I admit I was very upset and unhappy over what happened. Firstly, u planned to celebrate together and u even got UR OWN PROPOSED FOOD LIST READY without consulting the other 2 birthday boys. Then for what u get them to go down to the place that day. Then after, not only u decided to cancel the celebration, how nice of u to even plan for them what day and time they can celebrate their own birthday. And u took the best timing and expect us to turn up without even thinking whether the other 2 birthday boys can make it. In the end, did u wonder how many ppl were at favian's party? Did favian's feelings ever crossed ur mind if his clique were not able to attend his party just because they have to attend ur party and comparing favian's relationship with them with urs. If I were in favian's shoes, I will be awfully upset even though I understand that they went because of ur BF. Again, I have to emphasize that please be more sensitive over others' feelings and think for others too. I know u may not have realise what u have done cause u may not mean it. But please be more mindful of others in future. Its good to take initiative but over-doing it by planning without consulting will cause unhappiness. Anyway, do u know that johny was at ur party? Did u realise that he wasn't there during the photo taking? Or johny's presence doesn't really matter? How would u feel if u go for ur friend's party and ur friend forgot about u? Just my thoughts though.
Thirdly, its regarding chiu's present. When we told u how much to pay for the presents, u asked what we bought and how much were each individual gifts then u come telling to us that u not sharing for chiu's present. Its retard and troublesome to collect like $2 all over again from the 10 over people and poor johny came out with u and ur bf 's share out of his own pocket. Then why ask in the first place and dont inform us in advance that ur not sharing. It was way passed his birthday that we bought his present and I believe u had sufficient time to consider not to share with us. And not after we telling u how much it cost. And yet again, its not about the monetary issue that I am concerned of. Anyway, I am kind of curious is it so hard to find a right time to give chiu his present or is it just an excuse. Its passed 3 months and counting. And I am more than excited to find out what u have got for him that made u not share for chiu's present.
Okay. Enough of ranting. That's all I can think of now. I know I have no rights or whatsoever to comment on u but its just my feelings. I am telling u this still as a friend hoping that u do not offend more people in future cause I don't think its only me that feels so. Just be more sensitive and mindful =)
WL, this part is catered for you. Its not that you are not part of the clique anymore or neither I did not regard u as one of us anymore. I still treat you as a friend that's why I did not say anything about your gf cause I don't want you to get hurt. And not that I did not try to see what you can see in her, but all i can say is I failed. Yes, you can put the blame on me that's for sure but after all the things that happened, I really don't know how to put it across to you till today. You also know that we find it hard to find a common topic these days, and its true. Not that we don't want to include you in our activities but we lead different lifestyles now like what u said. The memories were beautiful which I also reminisced but now we have to accept the fact that we lead different lives. We do things that you don't, and vice versa. I hope you can understand that part. We will still be the e4-ians. Do spend more time with the rest or will end up losing what's more worth in life. Some things are hard to retrieve once lost.
Anyway, I would like to take this opportunity to say SORRY to all my beloved e4ians for the wrong things that I have done and said. I will be a better friend. Let bygones be bygones. I believe time will heal everything. =)
Much love,
Chris
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i didn't want you to be involved in this. I'm really hurt that you think mindice did all those things because she thinks everything revolved around me and her. Please listen to our side of the story before you start to shoot her down like you just did. Every since before you guys should alr have known that sometimes she has problems phrasing her words. It may seem blunt or too straight forward but she doesn't mean you any harm. I'm sorry if you feel that her sms doesn't give you a choice, and i'm really sorry if you think she made you guys do things that you didn't want to. But i just wanna say that I wanted the camera and i asked for it. I had no idea that she requested from everyone to pay up. if i knew ofcourse i would be there to stop her, and teach her to rephrase her words properly. it's afterall just an sms.
ReplyDeletethe issue on favian's birthday. that was a case of untimeliness and misunderstandings. I don't get why u think mindice was the one that wanted to cancel celebrating together. there are many other issues that came together. one of which is johny told me that he wasn't going to invite anybody. which means ofcoz we can't expect him to pay. that place that i suggested needed an amount of $3k. so if $1k from each person, favian, johny and mindice it was ok. but if it were to be $1.5k from 2 persons, that's abit over budget? After so many weeks of planning there wasn't any progress at all. food wise, there were onli 4 menus that the lounge ppl gave us that we could choose from. and all were very pricey. the reason we asked you guys to go there is for you all to give you opinion. and we didn't decide the food at the end too. we left it open for us to discuss first. before mindice suggested to replace the food in the menu, we all thought that those menus were fixed. you could have said something there and then about the food choice.
and why did we decide to pull out in the end? firstly i thought both favian and mindice agreed that it was too ex for $1.5k per person with so many extra cost and the boss seems unaccomodating too, and the place seems not big enough to accomodate 2 groups of ppl. and by the time i got back to the lounge, the date was alr booked by another person, if you need to know. Time and time i asked out of concern for favian whether he needed help booking a place. Since that time when we decided not to celebrate together, i was thinking of both favian and mindice. i wouldn't want to miss favian's birthday for the world. i've always treated him like a sworn brother and good friend since sec sch days, why would i want to miss it. we had this idea tt favian was going to book his birthday on the sunday. that's why we purposely booked it on the saturday so as to not clash with him. not the other way round. we didn't purposely choose the best date so that we can steal all his friends from his party. defintely that was not the case. 2 weeks before the event, i even asked to confirm with favian whether he has booked his birthday and planned for it. he said haven't confirm. at that time i thought he was set on the khatib condo that you all said he alr booked. If at that time he were to say that his birthday was on a saturday, we wouldn't have sent out our invitations and definitely we would have tried to push mindice's party to the afternoon or even to a sunday. but sadly we only knew about favian's party 3 days before that saturday.
Nobody is comparing about ur r/s with favian and mindice. Its OBVIOUS that you guys are super close to favian. and perhaps to some of you, you have no r/s to mindice wadsoever besides her being my gf. but the people she wanted to come to her birthday was of course those that she thought have been with her for some time. like ahpoh, her pri sch class mate. You her primary sch friend... she's very thankful for those ppl that decided to be there whether is it to give me face or because they sincerely want to be there. but if you all so wanted to be at favian's i would rather you guys be there, or you all could leave mindice's party halfway to go to favian's i bet she would understand. i for one didn't have the choice to leave mindice's party even though i so wanted to go for Favian's too.
as for chiu hao's present, i dun wish to comment about it actually. as i told johny earlier, the present is with us and we will give it to him. anw i think dice just had the good-heart to be the bad-guy in this case by trying to help me save money. I suggested that we just paid up the $66 bucks and on top of that give him the another personal present from us. dat didn't happen and she sent out another one of her straightforward and blunt sms-es to johny. We replied on the same day that johny sms-ed us. is that very late? but anyway we didn't know that johny had already collected money from the rest. I dun mind going back in time and just paying the $33 if it could solve this problem now. do you really think that mindice is always the one that is trying to create trouble? i dun think she really means it. Please, in future if you have a problem with mindice and the way she talks or handles things, please tell her, or if you can't face up to her, just let me know. By telling it to me and then leaving the matter to rest, while i solve my own probs with her is a form of giving me face, rather than bottling up all negative emotions and creating commotions, name calling, and this negative mentality that you guys have created out of minor incidents.
I accept that we lead different lifestyles, but the reason i dun participate so much is because the only thing i know you guys do together is MJ. well i guess i never really participated in any things you guys do together, starting from magic cards, Dota, mj, poker.. but what i really enjoyed was playing soccer with you guys, going to that 7-11 after like 5 hours of soccer. the simple things. food, makan or suppering would be very common things that we like.
It was fine as it was last time, what makes it different now?
as you said. let bygones be bygones, time will heal everything. but before that can happen, we definitely got to talk it out with the people that have been affected. Favian and johny. and maybe you too, if you feel she has offended you in anyway.
being friends for more than 10 years, i really dun wish to see our r/s sour further. i believe with more communication, even just the slightest casual sms or comment from you guys would be a start to help me be a part of you guys again.
and again i'm sorry if me or mindice has offended anyone in anyway. We didn't mean it.. this blog is meant to be transparent, so should our relationships. don't speak ill of us behind us. if you guys had invited me to this blog, i would definitely feel more accepted. This would be defintitely something that i want to be part of. It's simple and i can catch a glimpse of what's going on to you guys, and vice versa.